I’m an outgoing girl if you can’t tell from my posts and page. I find it easy to meet people and some may call me even a bit of a charmer in a room full of people. Over the years I focused on my studies but when I started grad school I was finally really ready to meet someone. But where was I going to find this tall, dark and handsome fella? People tried to introduce me to friends and family but nothing ever felt quite right. Everything felt so passive and I am a woman who is goes after what she wants.
So I tried a new approach: I created an online dating profile.
“But you’re so pretty! You just haven’t been introduced to the right guy!
“You aren’t old you don’t need to resort to that!”
Sorry to break it to you but it’s the 21st century and I don’t know about you guys but it seems that a) it’s harder and harder to meet people even if you have a very active social life and b) if you’re anything like how I was, you’re frankly just too busy to be bothered. Why go creep around a bar looking for fresh meat when you can Netflix and chill without someone trying to grope you?
Insert–Online Dating. It’s a whole new world where you can meet people from EVERYWHERE, but most importantly you could meet people that live in your city that you wouldn’t normally cross paths with but could be the perfect match for you. I was like a kid in in a candy store because I had all these eligible (and some not so eligible) bachelors to choose from! I could use an app, I could use my computer, I could be sitting on my couch looking vile and STILL find someone who might just like me for me. I figured if they signed up they were kind of like me: interested in finding someone who shared common interests and goals, attractive, fun, and everything in between. Right?
Well, I was right and I was wrong.
I was right because there are a lot of people (I am going to go ahead and say the majority) who are interested in finding a significant other and are ready to venture into the dating world to find that special person. I was wrong because there are definitely some of those guys (and gals) who are eh…how do you say…in it for the “cookie”. Don’t let this deter you because most people sign up and answer the MILLIONS (total exaggeration, maybe like 50 max) of questions to try to find a person that they can share their life with. If you pick the right site based on what you’re looking for, I guarantee that online dating can be a beautiful beautiful thing. I had to try out a few sites but I finally found one that brought me to my fiancé.
I want to share my experiences with you so you don’t have to be afraid and you can look at online dating as an opportunity to broaden your horizons and find your special someone. So if the inevitable question “So, how did you guys meet?” is what is holding you back from online dating, let me put your mind at ease and hopefully by the end of this you’ll see that maybe that question wouldn’t be the worst one to answer if you meet your soulmate… (everything posted is a personal opinion so check out other sites if you are interested!)
Tinder—Jesus, take the wheel. This site can be a hot mess or a gift from God, depending on what you’re looking for. My mentee has met a few guys she’s had some longer relationships with here, but she was also about 20-24 when she was using it. If swiping is your thing, have at it! I wasn’t a fan because the bios that you’re allowed to create came from Facebook (not sure if they still do now) and were too short for you to really get to know someone. I also got realllyyyyy butt hurt when I swiped and picked a guy and he didn’t swipe me back. A lot of the folks on here are also in it for the cookie so be mindful of that. It’s an app to help people get their feet wet in the online dating world in my opinion, but can also be a huge turnoff for some if they are not ready to hear mixed responses from other users.
eHarmony—great site…if you’re a bit older (I’m talking late twenties at the earliest up to maybe 50?). I noticed someone of the guys and gals on here are a little more settled and hoping to find someone maybe even a little more on the conservative side. I did go on some great dates with some nice people, but like I said I was a bit younger when I was using this one so this is definitely something that I would suggest for people in the late twenties and up. It also cost $$$ so make sure that you’re aware of the auto-subscription renewal.
Usage: Mobile and Web
Match.com—basically eharmony 2.0. HOWEVER I met cooler guys here that were a little more laidback and the age range really was college graduate and up. They often have Groupons available for these (especially around Valentine’s Day-subtle hint?) making this a relatively affordable means to find that special someone.
Usage: Mobile and Web
Ok Cupid—this one was the jackpot for me. I was on and off this site from when I was 22-25 and I loved it for a very specific reason: the questions they asked. The questions are BIZARRE but they really let you see a person’s true character and a little more about them before you even have to send a message. I have turned a lot of people on to this one but I think it works best in larger cities and it’s nice because if you travel for work you can try out different cities if you want a dinner date while you’re out of town. It’s also where I met my future husband!
Usage: Mobile and Web
These are the apps I have personally tried but there are a BUNCH out there. I’m not going to pretend I’ve been on all of them or think one is better than the other (well, I may be a little biased because I met my fiance on OK Cupid). Remember that it’s OK to take baby steps. Maybe start with a free one and then move onto the paid ones once you’ve met a couple of guys/gals. I really think you should try your hand at one free on and one paid one if you’re pretty serious about finding a significant other (you’ll see a lot of people doing this, so don’t be turned off if you’re guy or gal has both! They’re just trying to increase their odds of finding the right person).
Have you tried online dating? How did you like it? Be sure to subscribe to get the update on when I post Online Dating 201: First Dates with your Potential Internet Boo!